I am 43 years old and I am blessed. Really, I am. I am a wife and mom of two wonderful children. I have a great job and good health. I have a beautiful home, nice car, pretty clothes and food in our refrigerator. Sounds like a wonderful life, right? With all of these blessings, I was lost. I had no identity. It has not been easy for me. I have battled depression for years and have found myself in some pretty dark and lonely places. Years of isolating, feeling sad, hopeless and worthless. Hating what I saw in the mirror and not deserving of anyone’s love. I could not shake the feeling that my family would be better off without me. I felt that I was a burden on everyone. I had no reason to be depressed. I married my prince and he has given me the world. That alone made me more depressed because of the guilt. Not too long ago, I hit my rock bottom and felt that I was faced with a difficult decision. I am thankful that I didn’t listen to that voice and chose to give life another chance. You see, my life began when I learned how to make myself a priority. Isn’t that selfish? No, it’s a necessity! I take care of everyone else, why shouldn’t I show myself that same kind of love? My family is my world but today, I come first. I am my best for them when I am my best for me.
Today, I love life and I LIVE life. I am a lover of adventure. I thrive on adrenalin. I make time for me. Years ago I used to say “Yes, we will go when we have time.” I don’t believe in that saying anymore. There will never be time. We make time for the things we love, right? Well, I love me and I make time for the things I love. I love to hike, bike, swim, run, camp, and wander. I do these almost every weekend. When that depression sneaks in, I pack up my car and go to my therapy. My therapy is outdoor. Sunlight, moonlight and fresh air is what works for me.
Life is hard and exhausting. Through my eyes, it’s easier when you are your own friend. Make the time to recharge your batteries. Take care of your body, you only have one. Speak your truth. Set healthy boundaries. Find things that you love to do and do them. You are deserving of standing on a chair and screaming at the top of your lungs, “TIME OUT!”